just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
