Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
