this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
