I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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