I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
