I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
