I think my vagina is haunted
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
