the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
