Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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