ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
be right there i have to get my cape
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
