Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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