No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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