They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
