What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
