I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
