I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
