Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
