"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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