and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
