vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
