And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We don't watch enough power rangers
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize