Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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