mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
