Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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