yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
