So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
