like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
