if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
