You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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