I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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