I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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