chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
