can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
