she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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