I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Text me some of your sweat
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
