i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
