and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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