Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
