So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
