im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
this just has baby written all over it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
