I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
