just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
