his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
