I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
