ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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