just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
