i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
