matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
