Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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