I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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