I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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