only if we run a train.
done.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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